


Learning Together

by MarieMaknae23



Category: GOT7
Genre: ABORT, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Developing Relationship, Discussion of Abortion, Eventual Romance, Feelings Realization, M/M, Mpreg, Student Park Jinyoung (GOT7), Teacher Mark Tuan, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unplanned Pregnancy, mention of 2jae, some jinson - Freeform, some pepigyeom, some wonyoung
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-25
Updated: 2021-03-01
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:55:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 17,437
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27706568
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MarieMaknae23/pseuds/MarieMaknae23
Summary: All Jinyoung wanted was to have some fun after having ended a long relationship. He truly didn't expected the outcome of a torrid romance with his English teacher.They certainly need to learn many things from each other.
Relationships: Park Jinyoung/Mark Tuan
Comments: 14
Kudos: 27





	1. -1-

Jinyoung knew he was fucked, too fucked up. 

His stomach revolted again and he leaned over the toilet once more, vomiting a disgusting mix between the sushi he dined on last night and the slices of cold pizza that were his breakfast that morning, right before his body decided he didn't want any food and that absolutely everything seemed repulsive, even the smell of his shampoo. 

Jinyoung was not stupid, it had been more than two weeks since he started having these sudden bouts of morning sickness which sometimes made him vomit and at other times (almost every morning) only made him feel nauseous; however, these nauseas were not just in the mornings, but it appeared at all times and sometimes so abruptly that it gave him not enough time to approach the nearest trash can. 

In addition, he also felt tired all the time, no matter how much he slept at night. But being a poor pedagogy student, he couldn’t rest much, especially when he had exams almost every week-- not counting the amounts of homework he had every day. Jinyoung at first wanted to think that, due to tiredness, he was getting quite distracted and forgetting things frequently; however, when he really began to suspect that something was wrong with him was when he started crying because he wanted to wash his face and there was no hot water to do so. 

Jinyoung was not stupid. He knew perfectly well what might be going on with him, yet he knew that once he started thinking about it completely, he was going to start panicking. 

But what could he expect? He had an active sex life-- too active, to tell the truth, because his current fuck buddy called him almost every day. Sometimes it was his apartment, sometimes they took advantage of the fact that Jinyoung's roommate had left, or in those places at his college where it was completely certain that the students could have a pleasant encounter to calm the cravings of the moment.

Unfortunately, those moments were not the most suitable to worry about protection. They just wanted to finish as quickly as possible before someone came in or discovered them, because they both knew it was going to cause them a lot of trouble. If someone found out about them it would be bothersome. Jinyoung's most common fuck buddy was nothing more or nothing less than Mark Tuan, the handsomest young English teacher on campus, who also taught Jinyoung. 

Jinyoung, recalling that afternoon about one or two months ago, wanted to slam himself against the wall, because, if he did remember correctly, Mark had been sucking suggestively on one of his pens while Jinyoung gave a presentation to the front of the class causing him to stutter throughout the presentation and his English-- usually with perfect pronunciation-- came out very mediocre. Jinyoung knew that Mark had completed his task when, behind his annoyed teacher face, there was a mocking smile which became even more mocking when he asked Jinyoung to see him in his office after school.

Mark had promised him that he would pull out in time, and Jinyoung agreed, too intoxicated by the sensation of feeling Mark inside him without the condom. He didn’t know that he had missed a whole world of sensations just by having sex with a condom, and obviously, drunk in pleasure, Jinyoung rode him like never before, causing Mark to not be able to control his orgasm, spilling a little inside Jinyoung, which he had not noticed until he returned to his dorm and took a shower. 

Or was it that weekend when Jinyoung did not leave Mark's apartment from Friday night until Sunday night and the next day he went to school limping? 

How thoughtless he had been to think that nothing was going to happen! Of course, he did not care at the time, neither of them did, to tell the truth, because a man that could be bred was rare and they were sure that Jinyoung was not one of them. 

But there he was, sitting on the cold floor of his bathroom, still trembling because of the strain of vomiting, with a thousand thoughts hovering in his mind all focused in the same direction and on the same thought: he was fucked.

When he came out of the bathroom, trying to look as normal as possible, he felt the look of his roommate, Youngjae, nailed to his back while Jinyoung was serving himself a glass of cold water to remove the bitter taste of vomit from his mouth. 

“Hyung...” Youngjae called him in a soft voice, Jinyoung knew that he had heard him, even as quiet as he had tried to be. The walls of that bathroom may and could have been made of paper seeing how thin they were. “Are you okay?” 

“Yes! I'm perfect!” Jinyoung exclaimed in an effusive voice, perhaps a little more effusive than usual. “There is nothing to worry about,” he added and then pursed his lips in a fine line. 

“Hyung, don't lie to me,” Youngjae said, standing up and walking towards him, “you've been feeling bad for some time now. I hear you throw up all the time. You look very pale, you don't look like you and...”

“I know, Youngjae, I know.” Jinyoung interrupted him, taking his hands to his hair and ruffling it with despair. He had begun to feel a new wave of nausea, however, these seemed more due to panic than anything else. Besides, he started feeling an immense desire to cry. “It’s just that I don’t want to accept it, not yet at least. I don't want to think about it... I feel like if I don't think about it, it will be a lie or something.” 

“And is there any reason to believe that you are?” Youngjae asked. None of his friends knew about Mark, how could he tell anyone? “I thought you and Jaebeom Hyung were done.” Youngjae's voice sounded hurt and his eyes reflected immense sadness and Jinyoung knew exactly why.

And if Youngjae believed that the reason he was pregnant was the result of a slip with his ex-boyfriend who was currently dating Youngjae, he could totally understand why Youngjae was feeling so much sadness. 

“No, it's not Jaebeom. I promise you, there hasn't been and there won't be anything else between us. He's crazy about you, more than he was for me, so definitely not him. Don’t worry.” Jinyoung hastened to tell him, patting him on the back in assurance. “But, actually, there  _ is  _ someone. I didn’t tell you I was actually seeing someone because it’s nothing formal, we just hook up from time to time,” Jinyoung pursed his lips, feeling the tears well in his eyes for no reason. “It's just a physical thing, no feelings.”

“It seems to me that you don't want it to be just a physical and feelingless thing, Hyung.” Youngjae told him, now he was the one who put a hand on his shoulder. 

Jinyoung let out a bitter giggle, wiping his nose, feeling extremely pathetic when a tear rolled down his cheek. 

Of course, he had the worst luck in the universe. 

Jinyoung and Jaebeom had broken up after having a four-year relationship and having known each other for about seven years. They had had a very beautiful relationship according to him-- so beautiful that when love simply disappeared, they continued to treat themselves as close friends, on good terms and without grudges.

However, as they had broken up at the end of the fall semester, by the spring semester, after the holidays, Jinyoung noticed that Jaebeom and Youngjae seemed much closer than before. And a short time later, both confessed to him that they were kind of seeing each other, going out on a few dates to see what destiny had for them, to which Jinyoung quite agreed. To tell the truth, he had never seen Jaebeom so happy. His eyes shone spectacularly whenever he saw Youngjae. It was quite obvious that Jaebeom and Youngjae were too in love and that of being in “some” relationship was just an excuse because of the short time since Jaebeom and Jinyoung had split up. Jinyoung knew they were in a relationship before they even knew they were boyfriends, even when they still said there were no strings attached. 

Jinyoung was so happy for them that he didn't really know what went through his mind. When he first found himself single after a long time, being a completely free adult allowed to do whatever he wanted and in an environment as liberal as college, he finally realized that he could sleep with whoever he wanted and at the times he wanted, without worrying about more complicated feelings or things like that. 

The first time he had a one night stand, it was with a classmate named Wonpil. Ever since the semester had started, Jinyoung had realized that he was trying to seduce him. He had hesitated quite a bit to finally say yes, only because he was worried that Jaebeom would mock him or something, but fuck that! Jaebeom was already seeing Youngjae, so why couldn’t he sleep with Wonpil when he found him attractive? So he made Wonpil swear that he would not tell anyone, making some excuse that he didn't want anyone to know that he was gay.

And so he ended up in a motel near the dorms, so nervous that he didn't even know how to start, damn it. Wonpil had even asked him if it was his first time and Jinyoung blushed even more than he was already, because no, it wasn't his first time. In fact, he loved sex and all his blood was boiling in desire because since he had broken up with Jaebeom, he had had to settle for his hand. So he had to seize the opportunity, but still, he couldn’t help but feel horribly nervous because it was the first time he had sex with someone that wasn’t actually Jaebeom. 

The sex with Wonpil was almost mediocre, but Jinyoung assumed it was because he was used to Jaebeom and his way of making love; however, the task had been accomplished even though the next day he was waiting for a message or something all day. He felt a little stupid when he finally realized that he had been used and it made him want to lock himself in his room all day to listen to Céline Dion, thinking that maybe, just maybe, Wonpil didn’t like the sex at all because he wouldn’t answer any of his texts and he wasn’t going to obsess over that, he needed to move on. 

However, he then met Kim Yugyeom at a Jamie Park’s party, which he had attended out of sheer commitment. 

Yugyeom stood a little away from the crowd, chatting with a tall, lanky boy dressed in an extravagant way. He didn't really know how they had ended up in that situation, they had talked for a while and Yugyeom had immediately been interested in him and, somehow or another, they had ended up locked in the bathroom of the apartment, having some clumsy sex-- mostly because they had a brief moment of confusion between each other's roles and it was the first time Jinyoung topped, but also because they were full of adrenaline due to the fact that they thought that at any time someone would discover them. 

This time, Jinyoung did not suffer when Yugyeom did not speak to him the next day; he was already beginning to learn. 

Then Jackson came. He had appeared on his Grindr account, being quite surprised that he found Jinyoung on there when he had seen him a few times in the corridors of the university buildings and had thought  _ “I’d tap that.” _ So, obviously, being as extroverted and impulsive as Jackson was, he immediately began to flirt with Jinyoung, sending him a lot of texts, having really long conversations, and becoming increasingly insistent and brazen. Jinyoung this time made Jackson beg for it a little. At first, he did not want to make a bad reputation for himself of being easy; then because the attention he received was spectacular and did wonders for his ego. 

When it finally happened, Jinyoung thought he had missed too many good things, because Jackson had done what he wanted with him. Being with Jackson was a new experience for which he was very grateful. He was be able to experiment with him, because Jackson was more into the spanking and choking than just plain vanilla sex, which helped Jinyoung to expand the things that turned him on and what he really wanted in bed. 

Jinyoung couldn't say he was that typical fuckboy that slept with someone different every weekend or picked every guy that matched with him on Grindr, he was just happy to have a variety of options that could satisfy him according to his liking. He would choose from between his list of previous fucks or try and find someone new whenever he wasn’t in the mood for the others, and of course, he would never let Youngjae know about his sexcapades. Jaebeom couldn’t know that he had developed a liking of sleeping around, he would think it was because he missed him or he was trying to make him jealous, which was obviously not true. 

He was really happy with the life he had for an entire semester, but of course, when another spring semester started, a year after having broken up with Jaebeom, he had to accompany Jackson to one of the most popular clubs in the city's richest area. 

Going out with Jackson, or calling him for some sex, sometimes meant extreme parties, considerable drunkenness and unbridled nights in some expensive hotel room-- but no, Jinyoung didn't see Jackson just for his money. Jinyoung wasn't that kind of person. 

Some shots of tequila later combined with a low tolerance to alcohol, Jinyoung had decided that he could not wait until the night was over and they had arrived at the hotel, so he took Jackson to the bar bathrooms, pushing him into one of the cubicles and kneeling in front of him and sucking him eagerly in that filthy place. 

Actually, he didn't quite know what exactly happened, he just remembered hearing the cubicle door suddenly open, evidently due to the absence of a latch, and there standing, totally surprised, was Mark Tuan, his English teacher for that semester; Jinyoung was completely unamused because his drunk mind had only one important task and that was to take Jackson’s dick as far in his mouth as he could. 

Thanks to the alcohol, Jinyoung didn’t remember that night very well, however, Jackson told him the next day that he had taken several seconds to stop what he was doing and, once he did, he pulled Jackson’s cock out of his mouth, smacked his lips and, in a very evidently drunk voice, said to him:  _ "do you like what you see?"  _

Perhaps his brain had not reacted very well in recognizing who he was, because despite being quite libertine outside the classroom, inside the classroom he was the typical applied student with good grades and quite respectful of his teachers. 

The next day, once his hangover was overcome, he had this moral thought coming nonstop to his head. He wanted to die of shame for having spoken to a teacher like that and because that teacher had seen him in a situation too embarrassing and private. 

On one hand, he wanted Monday to arrive so that he could apologize, and on the other hand, he wanted to remain locked in his bedroom until the end of time. Even the thought of dropping the class went through his mind, but that was already too extreme a measure; moreover, perhaps his teacher had not even recognized him. The lights were too dark and Mark was probably also in a drunken state and could also have alcoholic amnesia. 

Or not. 

On Monday, Jinyoung felt a knot in his stomach the entire class. Mark seemed totally normal while Jinyoung had his cheeks somewhat red every time the professor stood in front of the aisle where he was sitting; however, as soon as the professor looked at him, Mark formed an almost imperceptible smile that Jinyoung found sarcastic and after that, all of Jinyoung's world seemed to come down. Thereafter, most of the questions were directed at him, and, if there was a rule in Professor Tuan's class, it was that no one spoke Korean within that classroom, especially when it was a class of the higher levels. And it was not that Jinyoung was exactly bad, but he felt too nervous.

He had never been so intimidated by Mark, or rather, had never paid so much attention to him. He knew that most of the girls in his course were crazy about him and tried to get personal information out of him every time, without success. However, he seemed to be seeing him in a new light. 

His voice was low, quite low and raspy actually. His natural American English accent gave him a mystical and interesting appearance; he had never noticed that the teacher was tall and thin, but with some obvious muscle. His slacks fit perfectly on his hips and dress shirts, always with rolled sleeves and no tie, gave him a somewhat relaxed look that matched perfectly with his young, smooth and almost perfect face. He always puckered his lips as if he was chewing the inside part of his cheek whenever he listened to his students try their best in class, and whenever he talked, he would blink numerous times, and he also licked his lips frequently, so it was obvious he wasn’t that fond of speaking in public but he never showed any more than that. He always seemed sure of himself, secure, and his classes were fluid, never dull or long and Jinyoung was almost certain that it was due to his young age because he didn't seem to be past 30. 

Or at least they were not until that day. Because that day he had the longest English class in the world. 

At the end of the class, Jinyoung took as long as possible to collect his things so he would be the last person to leave the classroom, approaching the Professor with his hands completely wet by sweat. 

“Professor Tuan, may I speak to you for a moment?” Jinyoung asked him, clearing his throat earlier so that his voice would come out normal and not cracked with panic. 

“No, Jinyoung, I'm not going to suspend Friday's exam.” Mark replied, pretending to have a lot of interest in picking up the class exercises, not even bothering to look at him.

“I didn’t want to talk about that,” Jinyoung said, furrowing his brow “I wanted to talk about what happened on Saturday night…”

“Saturday? On Saturdays I'm not a teacher,” Mark said, finally looking up, taking a seat at his desk and removing his glasses from the bridge of his nose. Oh wow, he had really pretty brown eyes. “So I don't know what you want to tell me about Saturday, because we didn't see each other and whatever I did on Saturday you have no business in.” 

“But…the Magnolia Club...” Jinyoung began to stammer. 

“Oh...” Mark said, doing a gesture with his hand, “I told you, I'm not a teacher on the weekends, so...” he shrugged “You should hurry if you have class in the next hour, Jinyoung.” Mark told him, forming a smile so bright that it left Jinyoung a little bit overwhelmed. He almost had to pinch his leg to stop staring at Mark; no matter how handsome Mark was, he still was a teacher and he couldn't afford that kind of thought. “Oh, right, before you go, do you think you can send a message to the group chat? Send them this study guide,” Mark gave him a few sheets, “it's for Friday's exam. I won't have time this afternoon to do it, so can you do me that favor?”

Jinyoung came out of the classroom somewhat confused, because the teacher was the one who usually sent all kinds of exercises, quizzes and stuff, and, to be honest, he had silenced the group, remembering how the girls who were crazy about the teacher and kept licking his feet to get his attention would spam the group. So his participation in the chat was not much, but if the teacher had commissioned him, he had to comply.

His surprise had been big when, after sending the study guide, and as it was already around midnight, he received a message from nothing more and nothing less than Professor Mark Tuan. 

**Professor Tuan**

**23:35 Thank you for helping me with that, I really had a busy afternoon**

**23:35 Oh, BTW, I didn't want to say it face to face because I can tell you’re quite uncomfortable with it in person**

**23:36 But...**

**23:50 Honestly, yes.**

**Jinyoung**

**23:50 No big deal, Prof. Tuan**

**23:50 Hold on…yes? What do you mean?**

**Professor Tuan**

**00:04 The answer to your question at the bar**

**0:10 It's yes. Oh, and the study guide thing was just an excuse to get your number** **😉**

**0:11 I like your picture in Grindr, you must have a lot of matches.**

**0:30 By the way, I'm not a teacher after five o'clock in the afternoon and all weekend** **😉**

**1:25 Good night Jinyoung, see you tomorrow in class**

  
  


Jinyoung was totally stunned, had he really received those messages? He was so shocked that he had not even answered the messages, which was a little more embarrassing and obvious to leave it on seen, but should he answer those kinds of messages? Mark was a teacher! He had seen Jinyoung’s profile in Grindr! He obviously wanted something else, or else he would not have made such suggestive comments!

The most reasonable thing, and perhaps what anyone else would have done, was to cut off absolutely all communication with him after putting a stop to what the professor was trying to do but Jinyoung was not reasonable. It might even have been the dumbest moment of his life and, at that time, he did not know that so many consequences would come from the simple choice of continuing with that conversation, but Mark was a hot teacher and he wanted to try a hot teacher.

Maybe it was because of Mark's age, or his maturing state, or that he didn't really like to mess around because immediately the messages went up in tune, Mark immediately "questioning" his oral skills and wanting him to prove it. 

Again, Jinyoung had a crisis. It was one thing to text, by text anyone was brave, but to escalate things that way with his teacher? And yet they were both adults, there wasn’t much of an age difference, as Mark, as he later learned, was only 28 and Jinyoung was 24. Besides, he was about to graduate and they were both adults, two consenting adults, so there hadn’t had to be so much trouble. It was just going to be one night, one night that both compromised to keep in total secret so it wouldn’t ruin Mark’s job and Jinyoung’s academic record.

But for God’s sake! It was college! Hooking up with a teacher was still as forbidden as it was in high school? And Jinyoung wasn’t doing it because he was failing his class or something. He was doing it because he happened to find someone hot that just by chance was his teacher and vice versa, and again, it was going to be just one time. 

Little did they know it was not going to be just one time, so the only thing they did keep was their promise of keeping their encounters a total secret. 

Having Mark as a lover was a rather remarkable experience. Jinyoung was sure that Mark’s skill was because of his age, as being older, Mark had a quite different style, experience pouring out of his pores. Mark was a skillful lover, he always worried about Jinyoung first, he had the exact balance between passionate and sweet when caressing him, he could go from rocking slowly to make Jinyoung feel how deep he was inside of him to pounding him mercilessly, making Jinyoung see the stars and always beg for more. 

Mark just did things to him that no one else had made him feel and it was wonderful. He was quite content with Mark and Mark only. 

But Mark had always made it very clear that it was just sex, nothing else. Besides, they weren't exclusive at all. Jinyoung knew that Mark saw other people from time to time. And Jinyoung occasionally agreed to meet someone else, would go out with someone from Grindr. However, for him nothing was the same as being with Mark, so eventually he decided to just see Mark without feeling as if Mark owed him faithfulness, without getting annoyed if Mark didn’t call him some nights because he was with someone else. He had no obligation to him and, as a student and teacher, being exclusive only made it more dangerous to both. 

Who would say their "relationship" was going to rise to such a level? 

X

X

X

There he was three days later, again locked in the bathroom, this time watching with regret the blue box resting on the sink. Youngjae had specifically recommended he buy that brand because it would tell him exactly how far along he was pregnant (if he was), and so it would be easier for him to find out who that baby's father was. Somehow Jinyoung discovered that his constant adventures had not been so secret, yet Youngjae didn't know about Mark. He just thought he was still dating different people.

The minutes he had to wait seemed to him the most eternal of life. He tried to distract himself with his cell phone, but it did not help him that he had a message from the major culprit of his suffering. 

That annoying  _ wyd? R u dtf? _ accompanied by the famous eggplant emoji and a few sweat drops had never seemed so cynical to him. 

“Nothing,” Jinyoung mumbled, taking the test from where he had left it. “Here I am discovering whether my whole life is going to undergo a change or not,” he sighed.

His stomach was knotted, he felt something heavy pressing on his chest and his gaze immediately became blurred by the tears crushing in his eyes, however, he could read perfectly what that screen said. 

_ "Pregnant 5 to 6 weeks" _


	2. -2-

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: mention of abortion

“Park Jinyoung,” a loud voice awakened him with a start, or maybe it was the heavy English book that crashed into his desk with a loud bang. “I'm sorry if the class interrupts your beloved hours of sleep, but please don't fall asleep in class, out of respect for your peers who didn't go out clubbing last night.” Mark Tuan told him, adopting the serious tone Jinyoung had discovered he used just with him.

“Yes, I'm sorry,” Jinyoung hurried to straighten in his seat, bowing everywhere, feeling his ears get too hot. “It won't happen again, Professor Tuan, I'm sorry.” 

Mark gave him a somewhat confused look and, after taking back the heavy book that had crashed into his desk, he continued with the reading they were supposed to be taking notes on. Jinyoung tried to concentrate again, however, he saw the first three lines he had written and again his gaze was lost in the void. He was aware of Mark's gaze fixed on his back and his motionless hand, he knew he had to do the class exercise; however, his mind had no room to think of anything else. 

Mark turned to the front of the entire class, instead of continuing to walk among the students and Jinyoung could see that he was watching him with a tiny wrinkle on his forehead, and, to be honest, Jinyoung did not miss his reason. 

And the truth is, Jinyoung knew he had never looked so miserable. 

The paleness of his face had suddenly increased overnight and, from the night he discovered that he was pregnant, he had not been able to retain anything in his stomach. The slightest drink of water made him vomit twice as much as he had ingested; it did not help him that the night before was spent fully awake, thus the reason for his red and swollen eyes, for he was almost certain that he had shed tears until he fell asleep. And as if that wasn’t enough, there were deep dark circles under his usually lively, dark eyes as his brain didn’t allow him to rest at all, filling his mind with irrational dreams or being too busy circling his last decision, because it was something too important and he didn't really know what to do.

However, Youngjae had appeared in his room at about 5 a.m., after hearing him sob again, and suggested that a decision of that size should not be made by him alone, but that he had to inform Mark, as it was not only his problem, it was up to them both, although, in the end, Jinyoung had the last decision.

Jinyoung knew Youngjae would do everything he could to prevent him from making that rushed decision, but as Youngjae had already told him, it was his body, it was his decision and he had the last word.

He felt his eyes become heavy, as if he had sand in them and, evidently, tiredness had played a bad trick on him due to the enormous exhaustion that the pregnancy made him feel besides spending the night awake, so his body had simply decided to fall asleep in the middle of class. And, apparently, even after waking up, he could not fully snap out of it, but how could he? his life had just taken a great turn and that was not easy news to digest or an easy decision to make regarding his future.

Suddenly and without any warning he felt Mark standing behind him. He felt his gaze nailed to his back and his motionless hand, being aware of how bad he looked and, when things in front of him began to get blurry because of tears accumulating in his eyes, he took a big breath of air, preparing to feel those tears that had not stopped shedding since the day before running down his cheeks once more, however, this time he was in class and not in the privacy of his room, and Mark was standing right behind him, so he rubbed his face hard, trying to contain a deep sob that would threaten to come out from the depths of his being.

“Park Jinyoung,” Mark called him once more and Jinyoung automatically shrank into his seat at the authoritarianity of his voice, “stay after class, please, I need to talk to you.” His voice was hard and instantly a general murmur was heard among his peers. Of course, his peers loved gossip and what better for them than the teacher, usually relaxed and uncomplicated, scolding and asking to speak after class with the top student of the entire major. 

The remaining 15 minutes of class seemed eternal for Jinyoung, and when Mark finally let the rest of the class go, Jinyoung already had his stomach knotted and his hands soaked in sweat. 

His feet felt like lead when he walked towards the desk where Mark was sitting, checking some of the class's work with a frown, and when he felt Jinyoung approaching him, he stood up heading for the door, verifying that there was no students straggling around the classroom and then he locked the door, letting out a loud sigh before turning around to confront Jinyoung.

“Something's wrong with you,” Mark told him; it was not a question. 

“Yes, something did happen to me,” Jinyoung replied, swallowing. “In fact, I need to talk to you.”

“Is it because I haven't called you this week?” Mark asked him, raising an eyebrow, and putting his hands inside the pockets of his pants. 

“No, it's not that, you know perfectly well I don’t…” Jinyoung had to stop at half the sentence because his voice had been cut by the knot in his throat that had started to tighten. “I don't care about that,” he replied, after clearing his throat. 

“So? You’re not like that, let alone in class. I know you well enough to know something's wrong with you.”

“And why do you care?” Jinyoung said dryly, letting out a somewhat mocking smile. Mark immediately hardened his expression, leaving behind the small concern on his face. “I'm just someone you fuck, your weekend date,” Jinyoung continued, and his lip started trembling, a treacherous tear formed in the line of his eyes and he hurried to remove it from there, turning away from Mark's gaze.

“You had no problem when we started this, so I don't know what you want from me now. I don't know what’s wrong with you now.” 

“I'm pregnant, Mark, that's what is wrong with me,” Jinyoung told him, letting the phrase slip away with a big sigh, staring at him “and before you tell me you weren’t the only one I was fucking, let me tell you something! Yes, I told you that it did not bother me that we weren't exclusive and that you slept with other people, however, I didn’t sleep with anyone but you.” Jinyoung added, letting those tears that he was trying to keep with all his being run, feeling totally pathetic. “So, before you tell me that it's not possible that you’re the father, I’m telling you I’m certain you are.”

Mark stood totally motionless, looking at Jinyoung as if he were cultivating an infectious disease, without reacting even a little. 

“And no! I'm not upset about that either,” Jinyoung exclaimed again. “I’m not upset… I’m just… I'm just scared, very scared. In short, this is something I didn't expect, it's something I didn't want and I feel too silly to have gotten pregnant, for having had an oversight of this size, but it's also not like this is all my fault, you know,” Jinyoung continued, this time sobbing eagerly, as he had not done for a long time and maybe as he needed it.

“I'm not saying it's your fault, Jinyoung,” Mark replied seriously and he stepped up to him, yet Jinyoung could not see that because he was rubbing his face hard. 

“And you have to be so charismatic and so... so you!” Jinyoung moved his hands frantically, wanting to cover Mark’s entire figure. “You made me trust you blindly. You made me trust that you were going to pull out on time, that the fucking condoms worked, that nothing was going to happen for the day that we did it without a condom,” Jinyoung hiccupped, “and that I didn’t have to worry because you were clean, as if STDs were the only consequence and that it should be my only concern when we didn't use a condom!” Jinyoung let out a giggle, running a hand through his hair. “And it felt so good to do it without a condom,” he hiccupped again, “and I... I do not know what to do now... me... I... I've thought a lot, but Youngjae says that... he says I shouldn't decide anything without you... But don't... I didn't…” he began to breathe agitatedly, stuttering and getting engsing in his words. 

“Jinyoung, calm down. I need you to take a deep breath,” Mark stepped in, feeling Jinyoung's panic starting to get more intense, so he took hold of his shoulders and guided him to the chair at his desk and made him sit down.

Jinyoung inhaled deeply, realizing that he was too agitated and that he needed to calm down. The last thing he wanted was to make a fool of himself in front of Mark.

However, by breathing so deeply the smell of Mark's cologne flooded his nose, a smell that for him was always pleasant, that he loved. The fact that that smell permeated in his clothes and lasted with him until he took a shower and washed his clothes, a smell that usually aroused so many things in his being and, that day, aroused something completely new in him: nausea.

He tried to use the most common method for nausea to pass, which was to breathe deeply. Obviously, this time it did not work, because by doing that, more of that smell, usually pleasant, stirred his stomach more.

Jinyoung sensed Mark's panicked gaze before he grabbed the nearest trash can and brought it to Jinyoung, who leaned over it between coughs and gags. 

However, absolutely nothing happened, the effort of the gagging made his eyes tear, his stomach writhing painfully, but he vomited nothing. Maybe his stomach had finally run out of things to throw up.

“I hate this,” Jinyoung gasped, once the fit had finished, wiping the corner of his mouth with the back of his hand, trembling lightly and his forehead pearly with sweat. “I really hate this,” he dropped his head between his shoulders, thinking that things could not be worse. 

“Are you all right?” Mark asked, desperately searching his desk drawer for a bottle of water. 

“Are you really asking me if I'm okay?” Jinyoung asked him, putting one of his hands on his upset stomach “This thing you just saw happens every day and at all hours and for the dumbest things. I had to change my fabric softener overnight because they couldn’t put up with it,” Jinyoung said, breathing in fear, fearing that he would have another attack if he smelt Mark's perfume again. He could still feel the nausea, yet it seemed that the vomiting attack had stopped for the time being.

“How long have you known?” he asked, sitting in front of him at a considerable distance and giving him a bottle of water. 

“I suspected it for several weeks now,” Jinyoung accepted. “I took the test yesterday. Obviously it was positive. According to the test, I’m five to six weeks pregnant, they are…” he stopped in the middle of the sentence, he didn’t want to humanize it, it would be more difficult for him. “I’m still pretty early.” 

“Did you go to see a doctor?” Mark asked him, biting his lip nervously.

“No, I didn't really know how to react, you know? That's why I wanted to talk with you first.” Jinyoung rubbed his hands. 

“And you…” Mark cleared his throat. “Well, it is more obvious that you are pregnant, what are you planning to do?” Mark lathes his soft voice. “What exactly do you want from me?” 

“Only your opinion and to let you know of this situation,” Jinyoung shrugged. “I'll be honest with you, Mark. I hadn't really seen myself as a father, that thought had never crossed my mind. I mean, I like kids, obviously, I want to be a teacher, but whenever I see kids, they don’t awake that feeling of fatherhood. I know that I am not excessively young, but I think you’ll agree with me that we are not in the best situation,” Jinyoung shook his head and lowered his gaze. “I have always believed that if someone is going to bring a baby into the world it is because it is in a stable environment, because it will be born within a family...”

“Jinyoung...” Mark began, wishing to interrupt him. “We are not...” 

“I know,” Jinyoung stopped him in turn, “I know, Mark. We're nothing, you have no feelings for me, and I have nothing for you.” Jinyoung made sure to stare Mark in the eye, so that he could see that there was no lie in them. “I don't think it's fair to bring someone into the world in situations like this,” despite crying like a river the night before when he decided that, that day he was completely sure and his voice didn't shake a bit. “I don't want to bring anyone into the world like that, so I want to abort. I've decided I'm going to have an abortion, but this is not only me, Mark, so I ask you: what do you want me to do?”

Mark was silent for several minutes, his pupils moving from side to side, weighing every word, every situation, every scenario in the future. Jinyoung accompanied him in his silence, observing his mature features, breathing calmly, wanting to soothe the galloping heart in his chest. 

“You're right, it's not fair to bring someone into the world just because  _ it's the right thing to do, _ ” Mark said, pursing his lips and letting out a sigh. “And, at the end of the day, Jinyoung, it's you, it's your body, it's your decision. I, in this case, I'm just to blame him for all this.” Mark took one of his hands in his hands, squeezing them gently .“I'm so sorry that you have to make this difficult decision at your age, because it's something that's going to mark you for life.” Jinyoung put his head down again, he felt once more tears flowing through his eyes. When was he going to stop crying? “Do you want me to come with you?” 

Jinyoung bit his lip, staring firmly at Mark, carefully going over that question on his head, did he really want him there? It would be a very important moment for him, as well as something traumatic to go through completely alone, however, he did not know Mark Tuan really beyond the little they had spoken, the small pillow talk, the few things he had get to know of him, but still there was a whole lot of things he didn’t know about him. 

Jinyoung didn't know why Mark was in Korea, he didn't know his parents' name or even what his favorite movie or food was, just as Mark knew absolutely nothing about Jinyoung-- only the fact that he was 24, lived in the dormitories of the university, loved reading, was a top student and studied pedagogy.

Both were basically strangers, strangers who had met by chance and by some strange joke of fate had ended up in this situation. They had established very well in the beginning that there would never be more between them. Mark was not looking for anything formal and Jinyoung was too young to establish a relationship with someone else, he wanted to enjoy some freedom after being in a relationship for so long. 

“Don't worry, Mark,” Jinyoung finally said. “I just wanted to discuss it with you, that's all.” Jinyoung tried to smile at him. “I'm sorry the situation escalated this way, but this thing makes me feel horribly tired all the time and I couldn't sleep last night.” Jinyoung stood up and went to pick up his things. “I just wanted to tell you about this and the decision I made, and be sure that you agree with me, that’s all. I just figured it would be in a less stressful environment.” Jinyoung tried to smile at him, bending over to pick up his backpack from the floor. 

“Are you sure you'll be alright?” Mark asked, “you still look horribly pale and I know that process is not an easy thing, both physically and emotionally.”

“I'll be fine, don't worry. I'm sorry this happened.” Jinyoung told him, pursing his lips, “I think you'll understand that,” his voice threatened to break again, and Jinyoung sighed heavily, “you'll understand that I don't think it's possible to continue with whatever we had.” 

“I completely understand,” Mark said, standing up and walking up to him, his hand having a strange tick, as if he wanted to hold his hand. “I don't know exactly how much the procedure costs but have the full confidence to pass me the bill, I'll refund you.” Mark added, “it's the least I can do for you.”

“Don't worry, you've done enough,” Jinyoung said, his voice came out a little cooler than he planned and without saying more, he walked towards the door, “oh, by the way, Professor Tuan, I think I'll have to be absent from the class for a few days, but don't worry, I'll catch up immediately.” Jinyoung added before he left the room, returning to formal language, wanting to resume as soon as possible the relationship they had before that night at the bar and forget that bitter moment as soon as possible.

X

X

X

Going to that appointment completely alone had been a big mistake. 

He was totally terrified, uncomfortable, as if he were in a public place in an overly private situation and he wanted to run out of there as soon as possible. But that was not possible, because a medical consultation was necessary before proceeding with the abortion, because, as he had read quite a few times, it was not the same procedure in a woman as in a man and too many factors had to be taken into account.

Jinyoung had been too foolish to think that he could do it alone, but he did not want to disturb his friends with his things. Besides, Youngjae would persist in making him change his mind until the last moment and, knowing him, that could be a great possibility.

He observed the area around him. There were only two more people in that barren waiting room, a woman who looked too advanced, with a large belly that she caressed tenderly, Jinyoung could see in her the glow acclaimed by so many grandmothers. Next to her was a gay couple, looking excitedly at one of the pamphlets of the waiting room, one of them had a very small bump and both held hands tightly. 

Why couldn't that have happened to him several years later so that the enormous happiness that a pregnancy should cause was also reflected in his face? 

The nurse called him and startled him, which he disguised pretty well by standing up and walking into the office with shaky legs, where he was greeted by a doctor dressed impeccably with a big smile on his face.

“Good afternoon, sit down please, Mr. Park. Do we expect anyone else?” he asked, and Jinyoung shook his head and the doctor’s smile diminished a little. “Well, we can do it alone. Tell me, how can I help you?” 

“I...” Jinyoung started, he felt his throat horribly dry, so he swallowed saliva and started again. “I took a homemade pregnancy test, it said I'm about 5 to 6 weeks pregnant, that was a week and a half ago…” 

“Then we're just going to confirm it, excellent!” The doctor smiled again, but Jinyoung crouched down. 

“There's a reason I come alone, Doctor,” Jinyoung said quietly. God, that sounded so much easier in his mind than in real life. “Is there still time for an abortion?” the doctor stopped smiling immediately. “I read that it's possible until 12 weeks, however it's not that the test was reliable or not...as... there were several times when there were, well, when there was no protection so I don't know for sure whether the test was true or not.”

“Sure, I completely understand,” the doctor said in a serious tone, putting his hands together over the table. “Before we continue, Mr Park, I want to ask you something. Are you absolutely sure you want to move on with this?” He stared into his eyes and Jinyoung nodded, his teeth nibbling his inferior lip almost to the point of making it bleed. “Right, well, I'll ask you a series of questions about your overall health and then we'll do a full checkup and an ultrasound to know what the state of the fetus is, and if the abortion can be performed at once, it would obviously have to be scheduled with the clinic and performed under general anesthesia, then I would recommend contacting someone to accompany you at that time.”

Jinyoung nodded again, a strange hum in his ears had been presented; he answered the doctor's questions automatically without really paying attention. He knew it couldn't be like that, but he couldn't help but think that the doctor was judging him internally, perhaps calling him irresponsible or something like that. He had noticed the small raise in his eyebrow when he asked how many sexual partners he had had and the frown that hadn’t left his face since he told him he was getting an abortion. 

Jinyoung wanted to get out of there as fast as possible.

The examination table felt cold under his skin. He tried to concentrate on something else, however, there was not much to help in his distraction as all the walls were covered with diagrams and images of ultrasounds and illustrations of the various stages of gestation. 

“What I recommend is that you don't see the images of the monitor,” the doctor told him, putting a cold gel on his abdomen. “It's easier that way.” Jinyoung nodded and closed his eyes, breathing deeply as he felt a slight pressure on his belly as the doctor started the ultrasound, feeling how he moved that little device on one side and the other of his belly, listening to several clicks of the computer. 

“By measurement you have about 7 and a half weeks,” the doctor told him, and it was as if an iron block was pressed against his chest, somehow or another he was waiting for the doctor to tell him that it was nothing in his womb and it was all product of some strange new viral disease. “Everything seems fine to proceed with the process,” Jinyoung felt tears slip between his closed eyes and a soft sob was heard in the room, “Jinyoung, I’m going to ask you again, are you completely sure you want to abort? Even if I tell you that there may be no complications, as it is a surgical procedure there will always be complications, complications that can affect your life forever, and I'm not just talking about physical stuff, as one of the many complications is that you lose the ability to breed, so forgive me for being so insistent on this, but, it's not a decision that can be made lightly.”

“I know...” Jinyoung said, almost speaking for the first time without being asked, he opened his eyes slowly, observing the bright lamp above him “I thought about it many times.”

“There is a possibility that you can no longer experience this, and I know I told you at the beginning, but, I always ask this to my patients, so, I ask you, please and if you completely agree, to look at the screen only once and then confirm for me whether or not you want to continue with the procedure.” Jinyoung sobbed harder. “And I tell you especially, Jinyoung, as not many patients that come in for abortions cry, or at least not in front of me,” the doctor's voice was soft and careful. “I understand that you are scared. If I were in the same situation as you I would also be scared. I have seen thousands of patients who come in here without knowing well what is going on and come out completely confident that this is the best decision, so, if you agree, please look at the screen and see the great miracle that is inside you,” the doctor sighed. “Listen to the heart beating, a heart that is eager to live...”

The room, in which only the Doctor's voice and Jinyoung's soft whining had been heard, suddenly filled him with another sound, a sound that at first didn't make much sense to him, but soon the fast, rhythmic pounding, made him turn to see the screen immediately, observing that little bean happily swimming inside a bubble of something that looked like air. Right in the middle of the bean, from which one could perfectly distinguish the head of the little body, there was a somewhat blurry image of something that moved frantically. Evidently it was the heart of that being that was inside him at that time, completely oblivious to all the suffering that Jinyoung was feeling, completely innocent and with a life of its own.

Jinyoung collapsed immediately. He was too afraid, but that little person was not to blame for anything.

"I'm so sorry, baby, forgive me, please forgive me,” Jinyoung whispered.

X

X

X

It wasn't the first time Jinyoung was in front of Mark's house, but it was the first time he was there without prior invitation, so he hesitated several seconds to ring the doorbell. It didn't seem that there were unknown cars in the house, or signs that there was someone else inside, because only the slight murmur of the TV was heard, in which there seemed to be a variety show, as well as he could only hear Mark's laughter from afar. 

And yet he was a bundle of nerves when he did finally ring. To tell Mark that he was pregnant had been one thing, however, this was totally different, but it was too late to repent. Mark had opened the door, dressed in an extra-large grey T-shirt and sneakers, his hair even slightly damp after taking a shower. The hair fell softly on his forehead in that relaxed style that Jinyoung liked more than his respected teacher appearance. It made him feel less guilty about having an affair with a teacher.

“Jinyoung! Is something wrong?” Mark asked, evidently surprised to see him standing there. 

“Can I talk to you?” Jinyoung this time did not go around. “I hope I’m not bothering you.”

“No, not at all. Please, come on in,” Mark told him, making way for Jinyoung to go in, still with a surprised face. 

“Today I went to the clinic,” Jinyoung said immediately after he passed the threshold and began to play with the sleeves of his hoodie, which completely covered his hands.

“And what did they tell you? Is it more expensive than you thought? I'll give you the money, I don't have a problem with that, Jinyoung.” Mark hastened to tell him, immediately starting to look for his wallet.

“I'm not going to do it, Mark,” Jinyoung told him after inhaling deeply. Mark turned immediately to see him with a frown. “I'm not going to have an abortion. I can't abort, God... I don't know how I even thought about it,” he took out the photo of the ultrasound that the doctor had printed for him. “I thought it was going to be easy, but... I don't want to think about the guilt I would have had for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if that's what you wanted, but, like you said, it's my body, it's my decision and I've decided not to, because even though it's in my body, it's not exactly mine.”

“But Jinyoung, everything you said about a family...”

“I know, I still think about it, but abortion isn't the only solution to this, you know? There are couples who have spent years trying to have a child, or maybe in the end I do want to be a father and I want to risk being a single dad, I don't know. My parents will be so excited, that's for sure. I'm the first to have kids.” Jinyoung let out a giggle. “Shit, I don't know what's going to happen, but I do know that the abortion won't happen. You should have been there when I saw it... when I heard its heart beating, that is something… unbelievable, incredibly amazing.” Jinyoung exhaled. “I come here not to ask you something, not to demand something from you. I don't want us to live together, I don't want us to ‘try’ to raise this baby as a family that is probably going to fail, as many other people do. If you want to be a part of their life, go ahead. If you don't want to be a part of their life it's also okay, shit, we have at least six months to know what exactly we want and what's going to happen. There's no hurry, but I am telling you I'm going to have this baby, even if it's the hardest thing in the universe and I throw up everything I eat and the baby decides we don't like things we used to like, we're going to have to learn how to overcome this.” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> a/n 
> 
> let me tell you, when the muses are with me, fast updates occur, but when they don't...that's when not updating in more than four years happen (I know, I should be ashamed of my self) 
> 
> Anyways! Let me know what you think! I know the abortion and all that is a sensitieve topic, should I flag it as trigger warning? I don't really know what exactly can catalogue as TW but...still...let's just not discuss about that and rejoice in the fact that Jinyoung is a madre luchona 4x4 (hard to translate to english but those who know spanish know what I mean, especially latino spanish) 
> 
> Happy comeback! I know this is not the best comeback *sigh* but let still support the boys, we know that the only way GOT7 is still succeding is because of our work, so, let's appreciate this comeback still with all the adversities, especially because it's a Jaebeom's song! and Youngjae's year! ugh...I could say a thousand things more about this, but again, let's not get to much into that.
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love reading you in the comments! 
> 
> Thanks again to my amazing beta, Nina, I don't know what I could do without you! 
> 
> See you next time! 
> 
> Marie 
> 
> P.S, Do you want this baby to be girl or a boy? I always see Markjin with a girl...but I don't know...small poll! 


	3. -3-

“Oh my God, this is so cute!” Youngjae exclaimed in an overly shrill voice “Hyung, look, look, Hyung!” Youngjae called him insistently and Jinyoung glanced briefly, looking through the corner of his eye to one clothes stand full of baby things in shades of blue and pastel pink.

“Yes,” Jinyoung said flatty, continuing his way. 

“But you barely saw it,” Youngjae whined and Jinyoung could almost swear the younger was pouting. 

“Yes, I did see it.” Jinyoung sighed, “it's baby clothes, baby clothes that we don't need in the first place...”

“But...”

“And secondly we don't even know the sex,” Jinyoung continued, ignoring Youngjae's gaze, so he let out a heavy sigh. “Youngjae, we have talked about this, quite a few times actually.” 

“But Hyung...”

“No buts, besides, I'm only four months, we have at least three more months left to buy things, even if it's last minute,” a ray of hope crossed Youngjae's face, so Jinyoung rushed to say: “If I decide to keep the baby.” 

No matter how much he told Youngjae he was not thinking about keeping the baby, Youngjae would always have and keep a slight hope of that, but Jinyoung was very firm in his decision, at least for the time being.

He knew that keeping it was not the best option, because he did not even have a job and it would be very difficult to get a job in the state he was in and a child ultimately cost a lot of money. 

His parents had been very excited to learn that they were going to be grandparents for the first time, obviously after the drama and the initial disgust that ensued after Jinyoung would not tell them who the father was, and he made it very clear to them that they would never just get together for the sake of the baby as they did not have feelings for each other. 

However, once they had overcome the initial shock, his mother insisted that he could return to live with them, they could take care of the baby so that Jinyoung could continue to study and get a part-time job so that he could provide everything the baby needed, while his parents would take care of the other basic needs, such as a house and food. 

That seemed a rather sensible idea, not all people who had an unplanned pregnancy had that kind of support from their parents. Jinyoung knew that with that option he would suffer a little at first, but over time, it would get better, especially being so close to graduation; however, he was not going to take advantage of his parents, they had already done their job raising him and his two sisters, he was not going to make them battle with a grandson. 

So, again, Jinyoung explained in detail his desire to give up the baby for adoption to a family that could give them everything he could not, he just had to find someone who met all his expectations on what a family should be like and who he completely trusted to give them that precious gift of life, again his parents had not been very happy about it, but in the end, they ended up satisfied and claimed that Jinyoung was making the most mature decision.

Now Jinyoung just had to wait, wait, and think. 

Fortunately, his nausea and discomforts were decreasing considerably, leaving him only with some mild discomfort and a belly that grew at an amazing speed, reason number one as to why they were currently at the mall, because none of his pants closed and his T-shirts were starting to show a little of his belly below the hem. He could only dress in his sportswear and Jinyoung, who was used to always dress quite fashionably, did not like that at all, besides that, they were in the middle of July and it was getting too hot to continue wearing sweatshirts.

Jinyoung turned to see the clothes one more time, seeing the tiny pastel-colored clothes and let out a big sigh, feeling a well-known flutter in his belly. He could already feel the baby's movements and feeling that it was moving inside him always generated a very strange feeling inside, the first time he felt it he even burst into tears, blaming the hormones more than his own emotions.

“Oh, it's so rare for me to see teachers out of school, especially on vacation,” Youngjae whispered to him as Jinyoung looked away from baby clothes and concentrated on maternity clothing, paying special interest to a pair of denim pants with a large elastic band at the waist. “While I must admit that Professor Tuan looks much better in his formal clothes than in civilian clothes, like that he seems like just one more bum,” as soon as Jinyoung heard Youngjae's words he turned so fast that by sheer miracle he did not twist his neck. “Like normal clothes don't... what’s wrong?” Youngjae asked him, alarmed, “you went super pale.” 

“Oh, nothing,” Jinyoung took a deep breath, trying not to look so surprised, but he couldn't help it when it was literally the first time he'd seen Mark out of school, and especially looking so pregnant, as his stomach had increased in size at least three times. He had lost all traces of the perfect six pack he had before getting pregnant, the six pack which Mark always spent hours marveling at and kissing each line and curve of, mentioning a thousand times that it was his third favorite part of his body, besides his ass and his dick, obviously. 

“You know, I think I know what's wrong with me,” Jinyoung said hastily when, still above the crowd and shelves, Mark identified him, making eye contact. “I am hungry, very hungry,” Jinyoung took advantage of the fact that lately he was beginning to have many cravings, cravings to which Youngjae was very willing to comply, “and I really want one of those giant pretzels with melted cheese and, I don't know, something spicy.” Despite having used it as an excuse, that made his mouth water. “Please? You know I get a lot of nausea when I'm hungry and I don't want to do one of those scenes here, please? I see something, I can buy it and I catch up with you in the food square when I am ready, you know I'm going to get more nauseous if I wait and smell all that food.” Jinyoung put on his best face of conviction and it seemed to work with Youngjae, because he shrugged, putting a stern look on his face, as if he were fulfilling the most important mission in the world.

When Youngjae walked far enough away, Jinyoung rushed to take the jeans he was looking at, without even looking at the size and rushed to the cash register, trying as far as possible to minimize his contact with Mark, however, Mark was faster and cut him off when he was very close to his destination.

“Hey, Jinyoung,” Mark's soft voice was heard behind his back and the aforementioned one had no choice but to dwell in his footsteps “I didn't think I'd find you here, out of all places.” Mark tried to smile at him, sticking his hands in his pants pockets.

“Well, I have to buy, even if it’s just one, a garment that actually fits me.” Jinyoung rolled his eyes, squeezing the pants between his hands, trying to hide his belly.

“And...” Mark hesitated, turning around him, biting his lips like every time he was nervous. “How have you been? How is your vacation?”

“Well, I can’t complain,” Jinyoung shrugged. “I'm already in the second trimester and the nausea has subsided considerably, the only thing is that...” Jinyoung let out a big sigh “I'm getting fat and I'm hungry all the time.” Jinyoung tried to stop himself, however, a notorious pout formed on his lower lip. “Perks of pregnancy, I suppose. I still need to experience that excessive heat, the desire to pee at all times, constipation and incessant lust, because the crying, cravings and mood swings have been taking a toll on me for the moment.” Mark blinked a few times, trying to assimilate everything he had told him. “But no, I'm not complaining.” 

“Ah...Good thing you're okay,” Mark said after a while “Have you eaten yet? I can invite you to something if you are hungry...” 

“Oh no!” Jinyoung hastened to say, frantically moving his hands, waving the pants along. “Youngjae has already gone to get something,” Mark frowned noticeably. “Youngjae is my roommate, you might remember me mentioning it to you.”

“Of course! The one who is dating your ex,” Mark said, immediately improving his expression. “Well, is there anything I can do for you? Is that all you're taking?” Mark asked, pointing at the garment at Jinyoung's arms. 

“Well, at the moment it's all I need and all I can afford.” Jinyoung said, and Mark thwarted the brow again. “We're on vacation, I don't have my job in the school library, plus I don't think they’ll want to have me back when I carry a watermelon underneath my shirt.” 

“And why didn't you tell me you were out of a job?” Mark asked him, evidently worried about him. 

“Because you never asked me in the first place if I even had a job,” Jinyoung said, trying not to sound bitter, “You never asked me anything personal, actually.” Jinyoung added in a low voice, so he was not sure Mark could hear it. “Don't worry, Youngjae offered to pay the rent of the apartment until I can get something, and my parents give me some kind of allowance, which helps me survive, they couldn't convince me to go back to live with them, because going to live with them meant moving to Jinhae and leaving school, and if there's one thing I'm sure of, it’s that I don't want to leave school, not at the moment.”

“Jinyoung, but I told you to contact me if you needed something, anything,” Mark told him, putting a hand on his shoulder. “Let me help with something, let me buy you clothes, I'm sure you're going to need that and if I support you with that, you can have money for something else you need, or however you want to use it.” Mark told him, immediately taking out his wallet and giving him a considerable amount of cash. “And please don't hesitate to ask me for money if you need it, I told you I was going to support you on anything.”

Jinyoung bit his lower lip, hesitating quite a bit in taking the money Mark was offering him, he wasn't going to die if he accepted the money, in fact, it was going to do him a lot of good in the situation he was in. He didn't feel so comfortable living with someone else, but, at the end of the day, if he used that money on baby stuff, technically he wasn't spending the money on him, and even if he was going to wear those clothes, he wouldn't be needing clothes in the first place if it wasn't for Mark. 

Jinyoung bit his lower lip, debating that scenario very seriously in his mind, however, a little voice ended up telling him repeatedly not to turn the matter around, so, once again feeling his ears extremely hot, he stretched out his hand and take the money Mark was giving him. 

“Thank you,” Jinyoung murmured. “But it's only this time, I promise. I'll try to buy everything I'm going to need for the rest of the pregnancy with this money and I won't need any more.” Jinyoung hastened to say. 

“Don't worry, Jinyoung, seriously,” Mark patted him friendly on the shoulder, he also looked a little embarrassed. “See it as on those weekends where you didn't leave my house, I had to feed you several times a day, and you wouldn’t take just anything.” Mark told him, making Jinyoung laugh. 

“That I wasn't leaving? You wouldn't let me go!” Jinyoung defended himself, he felt his ears get even hotter, so he quickly veered his eyes to some plaid shirts with obvious folds at the height of his abdomen. “Plus, you still had to buy food for yourself. I don’t know how you keep being so skinny when you just feed on take out and ramen,” he told him, still having no courage to see him in the face. “So, don’t complain.”

“If we go there, I'm not complaining that you were there with me.” Mark said, suddenly approaching him. 

Jinyoung could feel his body heat radiating towards his body, and, even knowing that his presence was too far from his person, the presence of him by his side was too intense, all the blood rushed to his face, his hairs stood on end and for a few moments he thought he felt butterflies in his stomach, but after paying more attention he realized it was the baby who had started moving everywhere. 

“Now that I think about it, I miss those days,” Mark sighed and his breath collided with his neck, causing Jinyoung to shudder, “you become someone else when you're intoxicated with pleasure, and intoxicated in every sense of the word.” Mark laughed again, once more making his breath collide with his body, making him visibly shudder again. “You looked so perfect, naked and sprawled in my bed.” God, he hated how Mark was just so shameless. 

“Well, there's a reason I ended up pregnant,” Jinyoung refuted, stuttering, feeling his face burn even more, surely he seemed like a stop sign among all those clothes. 

“But you can’t get more pregnant, can you?” Mark asked him, his voice suddenly becoming low and dangerous, he took a step further towards Jinyoung, his body heat continued to radiate towards him, luring him like a magnet.

All Jinyoung had to do was turn around and take possession of those lips that so often took him to delirium, and it all started with situations like that, in which his kisses became so necessary that his body reacted automatically, asking for more. 

Jinyoung bit his lip, his body acting before his brain could react, turning his face to meet Mark's, his lips just a few centimetres apart. 

A sudden voice call reminded him where they were, Jinyoung took a breath and walked as far away as he could, suddenly pretending to be very interested in a shirt with the drawing of a baby "peeking out" between the edges of the shirt. Jinyoung could still feel his heart racing, pounding against his chest and mentally began to recriminate himself for having been about to commit that stupidity. 

“That's honestly not your style,” Mark snaped his tongue and Jinyoung was very grateful that he changed the subject. “In addition, the shirt is blue, which implies that the baby is a boy.” 

“And what about that?” Jinyoung asked, his mind finally managing to forget the memory of how Mark's thick lips felt on his own. 

“We don't know the sex of the baby yet,” Mark said, shrugging his shoulders, “or have they told you?” 

“No, they'll tell me on the next appointment,” Jinyoung replied, “I think it's this week, if I remember correctly, I turned 20 weeks recently.” 

Mark advanced a few steps to the next rack of clothes, looking closely at the pants with those horrible bands at his waist, he had a slight wrinkle on his forehead, as if he were seriously thinking something. 

“Jinyoung,” Mark called him and Jinyoung could not help but feel his stomach shrinking when he heard the tone of voice with which he addressed him, quite warm. “I want to go.”

“Go where?” Jinyoung asked, Mark sounded too sure, yet the younger had no idea what he meant. 

“I want to accompany you the day of the appointment in which they tell you the sex.” Mark told him, and, curiously, his cheeks were stained with a soft blush. Mark never blushed, ever. 

“But why?” Jinyoung asked, confused. “I thought...”

“That I didn't care?” Mark finished the sentence for him, letting out a giggle and Jinyoung nodded. “Well, I do care, but I totally respect all your decisions.” 

“So, you're telling me that you do want this baby?” Jinyoung asked, completely confused, his left hand automatically perched on the place where the baby kept fluttering inside. 

“It's not that I just want you to have the baby or keep it.” Mark was quick to explain. “But, our situations are different, I'm already 30 years old, it's not something I wanted eagerly, but since it happened...” Mark shrugged. 

“Then why would you let me have an abortion?” Jinyoung asked, suddenly feeling a lump in his throat. 

“Because, as I had already told you,” Mark sighed, scratching distractedly behind one ear “I am not the only one involved in this, besides, you looked so determined and so mature at the time.” Jinyoung assumed that there was some contradiction in his face, for Mark hastened to add “not that you aren’t now, just that day there was a totally different aura in you, and you said it yourself, it's not right to bring someone into the world just because that's what you have to do, so if you want to give it up for adoption, I'm not going to stop you, I can even help you find someone right and we both like. I've always been very willing to help you.” Jinyoung wrinkled his brows a bit more. “I've always been willing to support you, from the moment you told me you were pregnant, you're the one who decided to walk away and shut yourself out.” Mark put his hands in his pockets. “I don't know what you thought was going to be my reaction, but your idea doesn't seem very bad either,” he shruged again, “I just want to be able to get a chance to see an ultrasound, that's all.” 

“Why didn't you tell me about this before?” Jinyoung asked him, blinking several times to ward off a few treacherous tears that had decided to camp in his eyes.

“Because you could misinterpret it,” Mark replied.

“Because you do it just for the baby?” Jinyoung asked, his voice somewhat trembling and Mark lasted a few seconds before nodding. “Oh, okay, I understand.” Jinyoung hastened to dry his face with the back of his hand and shook his head like an old dog. “This must also be misinterpreting because I'm crying. I don't even know why I'm crying, it's the hormones, believe me.” Jinyoung let out a giggle mixed with a sob and his nose was running. “You should have told me from the beginning, Mark.” 

“You were so confident when you said it and, seriously, I didn't want to break your feelings,” Mark told him. “We never really talked about feelings, and I come to think that you...”

“I don't feel anything for you either, Mark,” Jinyoung rushed to interrupt him, seeing where his idea was going. “From the beginning we agreed and so it stayed, I just decided that I didn't want anyone else because I didn't think I'd find a better lover than you, you satisfied me enough not to look for anyone else.” Jinyoung shrugged and they both let out silly giggles. 

“So...” Mark said, lengthening the syllable. “No feelings but for the baby?” 

“But I still have the idea of giving it up for adoption, seriously, I don't know what I would do with a baby, I don't feel ready to raise a human being,” Jinyoung clarified. “Do you have a problem with it?”

“I repeat, it's not just my decision, and if that's what you want to do, that's fine. I just ask you to ask me who the couple will be, I can even help you search.” Mark said in a serious way, “and, I want to go to at least one ultrasound and, that whatever you need, or if you have any urgency, talk directly to me, even if it's money problems or you need more clothes.” He reached out again. “Deal?”

“Deal.” Jinyoung told him, holding his hand, and shaking it firmly, ignoring that when his fingers were released they remained united more than necessary. “We should have had this talk that day.” Jinyoung added, looking back between clothes, and taking a few more shirts and two pants. 

“Well, that day you couldn’t stop crying a river, there wasn't much I could do about it, besides, you treated me like I was the worst person in the universe,” Mark said, letting out a giggle. 

“Well, thanks to someone I've lost the perfect six pack that I had achieved after many years of effort, now I'm getting fat on muscle, so I'll look twice as fat,” Jinyoung said, squinting with disdain. 

"I don't think you look bad,” Mark whispered.

“What?” Jinyoung was not sure he heard it right. 

However, he could no longer verify that what his ears had heard was exactly what Mark had meant, for in that moment his cell phone sounded with an incoming call and, seeing the caller ID he felt his stomach drop: he had completely forgotten Youngjae. 

_ “Where...? Oh, I saw you,”  _ Youngjae's voice was heard from across the line and, in a matter of seconds, he was already by his side. “What is it...? Oh! Professor Tuan!” Youngjae faked a smile and gave Jinyoung a confused look. “I didn't know you were here...”

“Well, I ran into Jinyoung and decided to say hello,” Mark said, again adopting his teacher mode, which, in front of Jinyoung, was very obvious when he dropped his façade “I didn't know about his condition, and... well...” shit, Mark was not a very good liar, because he started blinking more than usual. “But I am already going, I know how much, to students, even if they are college students, it is conflicting to see the teachers out of class, it is almost as if they saw us naked.” Mark turned very slightly to Jinyoung and he could swear that he winked at him, however, it was so fast that he did not know if his eyes deceived him or if he did it, besides, he could not be so cheeky in front of Youngjae, could he? Thank heavens his roommate was too clueless. 

“See you,  _ Professor _ Tuan,” Jinyoung said goodbye, with too much emphasis on one word, trying to hide the seductive smile that escaped from his lips, which was again totally ignored by Youngjae.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy new year!   
> May this 2021 be filled with love and all your wishes come true and this 2021 we can finally go to concerts again *cries cuz I miss it so much and I was going to go to my first bts concert* 
> 
> Aaaannddd I said there wasn't going to be smut...but there may be smut (who am i kidding there IS going to be smut. 
> 
> Are you excited to know if its a boy or a girl? 
> 
> Don't forget to review, subscribe, leave kudos and all that.
> 
> See you next time!
> 
> Marie


	4. -4-

Jinyoung quickened his pace, once again looking at his watch; he hated being late and even more so when he knew there was someone waiting for him.

Strangely, seeing Mark leaning against the outer wall of the doctor's office tower, his heart raced a bit, he supposed it was due to how good he looked with his sandy hair gently combed back. He was wearing a short-sleeved shirt that showed his somewhat muscular arms and when he raised his arm to take a drink of the coffee that he had in his hands, he could see the tattoo that he had on the inside of it, a tattoo that he didn’t let his students see in the least. To finish the look he wore sunglasses that were gently resting on his nose, giving him a reserved and mysterious appearance.

“Hey, sorry for being late!” Jinyoung said when he got close enough to him, hoping that his sudden presence didn't startle him “I had to…” He stopped when he remembered that the reason for his delay had been because he had the urge to pee at the last minute. “Sorry I was late,” he said instead. 

“Don't worry, you're still on time,” Mark said, giving him a big smile and out of nowhere he handed him a second Starbucks cup, this time of what seemed to be iced coffee, but it had a succulent amount of whipped cream on the top. “I bought this for you when I got my coffee, because I am a teacher and even on vacation and I can no longer survive without coffee.”

“I hope its decaf,” Jinyoung told him, licking his lips at the sight of the whipped cream. “Because I haven't had any caffeine in about three months.”

“100% decaf,” Mark answered, opening the door and letting him pass first, “although I must say that I feel very sorry for your life without caffeine.”

“Anyway, with or without coffee, there is nothing that can take away this huge sleepiness I have every day. I feel tired all the time and I fall asleep in the most unlikely moments, I didn't even feel that way when I went to class at eight in the morning after a night out.”

“Look, at my age going on a spree means being tired and hung over for three days, so I can’t say much about it.” Mark sighed, a bit dramatic to tell the truth.

“But I'm in my youth, so I still have a few years to go before I have to worry about it.”

“But at least I don't fall asleep mid-class,” Mark refuted, giving him a playful nudge.

“It wouldn't have happened if someone hadn't fucked me without a condom and if their classes weren't so boring," Jinyoung told him, narrowing his eyes.

“Hi there!” Mark hastened to greet the receptionist who saw them with a certain critical gesture, “he has an appointment.” He pointed to Jinyoung and he realized that the older one had completely red ears.

“Of course, if you like to take a seat, in a moment the doctor will receive you,” the receptionist smiled at them and pointed to the waiting room.

They both took a seat in the waiting room, this time without speaking, afraid of saying something inappropriate again in a place so full of people, although it was not like the people who were there did not know about the actions about which they were talking; they were all there for a reason.

Jinyoung looked at Mark carefully, who was looking around him with considerable interest, admiring every poster and corner of the small waiting room and, again, his entire expression was one of total calm, but, looking at him even more closely, he noticed again his nervousness from his constant blinking and the way he ran his tongue across his lips.

“What?” Mark asked, realizing that the younger was staring at him with too much intensity. “Did I not shave well or what?”

“No, nothing,” Jinyoung replied, hiding a giggle. “Don't worry, you shaved your three hairs well.”

“We can't all be sasquatch like you,” Mark shrugged, “besides, you never complained about my lack of body hair, you said you could  _ eat  _ more at ease,” Mark lowered his tone of voice and raised an eyebrow suggestively, Jinyoung blushed suddenly as the comment caught him completely off guard. “And you, I still remember that time you didn't shave one day and, yes, you looked too good with your long hair and a day's beard, but my mouth and my neck weren't very happy with it.”

“It was fun to see you teaching classes with a mask that day.” Jinyoung laughed again at the memory. “And your excuse was that you had not had disposable razors at home and your razor had broken down, that day I was pissed at Seolhee and her friends because they wouldn’t stop whispering and day dreaming about how good you’d look with a beard.” Jinyoung laughed again and rolled his eyes. “I couldn’t hear a thing because of them, oh! If only they knew that you just grow very few hairs.” Jinyoung giggled again and Mark imitated him, but also rolling his eyes.

“You know, I think I really miss...”

“Mr. Park,” the receptionist called them and Jinyoung could no longer hear what Mark was missing, as they had to enter the office.

The doctor received him with the same cheerful smile as always, but this time, he hesitated a bit when he saw Mark enter after him. Jinyoung was afraid that the doctor would ask him who he was, however he did not ask questions about it and only threw one curious look at Mark, evidently remembering what his first appointment with him had been like and the fact that Jinyoung had been a flood of tears, and that he had never been enthusiastic about the other appointments they had had thus far.

Jinyoung found out that he had gained three kilos since the last visit and felt like dying. No wonder none of his clothes fit anymore! The doctor joked around with this, saying he no longer could satisfy all his cravings, because he was only allowed to gain a kilo per month and even in the same joking tone, he turned to Mark and made a comment that made both of them have colors rose to their faces.

“We have to put him to do some cardio and I think you already know what is the best cardio, low-impact and without so many restrictions,” the doctor let out a deep and good-natured laugh, totally ignoring the blush of both. “Just nothing on his stomach and no stunts or extreme positions.”

“We don't…” Jinyoung started, frowning.

“Nothing to be ashamed of, boy, for one reason is which I still have work,” he smiled again and stood up. “I’ll go prep the ultrasound machine as I’m pretty sure you are eager to know the gender.”

“So the reason he still has a job is because people cannot control their low instincts and they do it without worrying about contraceptive methods? Wow and I thought that teaching English was going to be a career in which I would never be without a job,” Mark told him in a low voice and Jinyoung rolled his eyes, preferring not to touch the subject anymore, but Jinyoung knew he was doing that to lighten the mood. 

“You know, now that I'm here I'm not so sure right now that I want to know the gender.” Jinyoung changed the subject, “I don't want to make this even more personal.”

“Do you want him to tell just me?” Mark asked him, his countenance changing from playful, and even somewhat flirtatious, to totally serious “Knowing the gender may help us choose a family, but there won’t be any problem if he just tells me.”

“Would you do me that favor?” Jinyoung asked in a low voice, just at the moment when the doctor returned to indicate that everything was ready for the ultrasound. “Seriously, I don't want this to get more complicated.”

“Don't worry, Jinyoung, I told you that I was going to respect each one of your decisions” Mark assured him, giving him a very wide warm smile, and without notice, Mark placed one of his hands on top of the younger’s, giving him a squeeze, soft, warm, filling his whole body with a strange sensation, a sensation that began from where Mark had put his hand, a sensation he had not felt in a long time and, once he had felt it, he felt terrified of starting to feel that again. 

Jinyoung didn't know if anything showed on his face, or if Mark noticed on his own, but he immediately removed his hand and his teeth caught his lower lip, evidently embarrassed by that action.

However, Mark quickly set his composure, standing up and heading to the ultrasound room, talking animatedly with the doctor. Jinyoung overheard something that the reason for the secrecy was because they wanted it to be something that only he and the baby’s adoptive parents would know, to which the doctor agreed very cordially.

Jinyoung stood up, even without knowing very well, or without wanting to accept that strong feeling that had just run through his body, that would only complicate things.I If he had not fallen in love during the time when they had only been friends with benefits, he wasn't going to, and he shouldn't fall in love now.

“You already know the drill, Jinyoung,” the doctor told him, to which Jinyoung responded with some lip tightening that pretended to be a smile.

Jinyoung lifted his shirt, somewhat self-conscious that Mark saw him without clothes, or at least from the waist up, since his abs had disappeared he was not very happy with his physical image; however, Mark was not even looking at Jinyoung, as had his eyes fixed on the monitor, even when there was absolutely nothing reflected in it.

The doctor performed a few maneuvers on his abdomen before placing the cold gel and the device on his belly, and when the image finally began to reflect, Jinyoung looked away from the screen. This time was not because he was afraid to see it or trying to desensitize himself from that image, but this time he wanted to observe Mark's reaction, even though his reaction would most likely affect his thoughts more.

And boy did he.

Mark's face lit up like Jinyoung had never seen it do it. He knew that the oldest was trying to control himself, however, the corners of his lips were slightly curved up in a smile that he was trying to hide and his eyes definitely couldn't lie as they shone with a special glow. His eyes navigated from one side to the other on the screen, the doctor described what he was supposed to be seeing, how their heart beat and the way they sucked their finger. After a while the doctor wrote something on a piece of paper and handed it to Mark, who read it immediately, letting out a big sigh.

“Oh wow…” Mark exclaimed, blinking several times and for three seconds Jinyoung thought he was crying or about to, but he couldn't, could he?

“Well, Mr.…?”

“Tuan,” Mark intervened, “Mark Tuan.”

“Well, Mr. Tuan, you already have very important information, take care of it as if it were life itself, because you actually are dealing with life,” the doctor told him and Mark nodded, as if it were the most important mission in the world.

“And my family health records or my genes are not going to affect or influence the development of the baby?”

“No, unless you have some very important genetic disease. Do you know of any?”

And, strangely, Jinyoung learned more about Mark in that little moment when he and the doctor had a chat, because, once he found out that he used to live in the United States, the doctor seemed very interested in his life.

Apparently, Mark was of Taiwanese descent, born in America and had come to Korea when he was a teenager by a school exchange and had fallen in love with the city. And when he turned 21 years old, had moved permanently to Seoul, deciding to go to college there and he had simply not moved back. 

He had two sisters and a brother, and he was the middle son. Apparently, all his relatives were very healthy and he had not gone home for more than two years, because he hadn’t still met his niece and nephew, but he knew they were all healthy and it seemed that girls were the most common in his family. 

Yes, it was strange to get to know more of Mark that way, almost through someone else's eyes, but, now hearing that, a lot of things made sense to Jinyoung. Obviously not the fact that his English was quite fluent and that Korean came out from his lips in a whisper (not counting his obviously American name), if not that certain things in his behavior were those of someone who had been living alone for a long time, his way of acting quite different and the seven tattoos on his body; Jinyoung did not want to be racist or stereotypical, since many Koreans were getting tattoos, but for him it was even more common to see it in foreigners or people who were young.

The doctor seemed to remember that he was in an appointment, so again he returned his attention to Jinyoung, explaining various things regarding the development of the baby and reminding him that he had to curb his cravings a bit, however, he let him indulge himself from time to time, mentioning that doing so would do wonders for his emotional state.

After giving him one more dose of prenatal vitamins and giving Mark a copy of the ultrasound, he let them go with a wide smile on his face, as if he knew something they didn't.

They went out again to the hot afternoon, where the sun dazzled them. Jinyoung made a screen with his hand, to which Mark put his own sunglasses on Jinyoung, a gesture that made Jinyoung lose control for a bit, as his heart began to race and he couldn't help feeling ridiculous for having behaved like that for that simple action, he shouldn't have been letting it get to him in the first place.

“Oh, thanks,” Jinyoung said, lowering his head slightly, hoping that he could blame his blush on the heat of the day and not precisely on his action, in case Mark was looking for explanations on the sudden blush.

“You want to eat something?” Mark asked, almost interrupting Jinyoung. “Or go to get an ice cream, another coffee or something like that? The truth is that I’d prefer to eat, because I am starving.”

“Hmm…” Jinyoung hesitated for a split second, biting his lip, would that be like a date? They had never gone out to eat, in fact, they had never gone out anywhere, however, before he could even say no, his stomach roared loudly and the image of a double patty burger floated in his mind, with juicy meat, bacon, and extra melted cheese, “damn, okay.”

“For a moment I thought you were going to say no," Mark said and smiled radiantly. “What do you want to eat?”

“Burgers,” Jinyoung said without thinking twice and the baby in his womb began to flutter inside him, excited by the idea that they were going to eat their craving. “From Shake Shack, if possible.” He paused, putting a hand near his navel. “Please,” he added, realizing that he had sounded somewhat demanding.

“Wow, you do know exactly what you want,” Mark said. “I think that's the good thing about you being a man, when I dated women it was a battle for them to decide what they wanted to eat, so now I’m glad it’s easier to date you.” He rolled his eyes and beckoned him, “come on, my car is over here.” Jinyoung tried to ignore the “date” part and preferred to focus on something else.

“Did you date women?” Jinyoung asked, pushing the other thought back into his mind, so he tried to sound honestly interested, which he actually was. Mark's car was a sleek sedan in vibrant red; Jinyoung hoped he had some kind of sports car; however, the car somehow fit Mark's personality as well.

“I guess I went through that teenage process where you hold on to being straight, and then you think maybe you're bisexual when you can't stop thinking about Edward Cullen at night,” Mark explained to him while he opened the car door for Jinyoung. “My parents are devoted Christians, so it is not something that was ever spoken in my home and is not very well seen within our community,” Mark continued when they were both inside the car, which smelled clean and was excessively neat. “So, yes, I had two girlfriends. I took another to prom, then I kissed a boy and, in fact, my first time with a man was when I was on an exchange here, that's when I left behind all that nonsense of being bisexual and I admitted that I was 100% gay.” It was the first time that Mark spoke so much in Jinyoung's presence.

“Have you not returned to L.A. because of your parents being gay?” Jinyoung asked him, feeling something strange inside him when imagining that possibility.

“For being gay? Not at all!” Mark snorted, making a gesture with his hand. “My parents totally accepted my sister and me. My sister, Gracie, is a lesbian and she was the one who helped me out of the closet seeing how much they supported her. I just stayed here because it's a totally different world and here I discovered myself, here I can do all my debauchery without having to worry about embarrassing my parents or something, as I’m not strictly from Los Angeles, but from a town nearby, and…as small towns are, I can’t go around having one nights stands…or getting one of those affairs pregnant.” Mark sighed and Jinyoung lowered his head. “Here they think I’m a respectable teacher that doesn’t want to date. I was going to return to the United States for a while at the end of this semester, or maybe go to China or some other place.”

“And why not anymore?” Jinyoung asked, feeling some guilt as he imagined the answer.

Mark didn't answer immediately, but looked at the horizon, chewing on his lower lip, processing his response.

“Because then there would be no one to buy you hamburgers when they had a craving,” Mark finally answered when they reached a red light, turning to see him so intently that, again, Jinyoung could not help but blush. He was even sure that if he had been standing her legs would have trembled.

“I ...” Jinyoung stuttered, suddenly feeling like crying. “I'm sorry,” he muttered with a broken voice by the tears that blurred his vision from one moment to the next. He knew they weren't together or anything, but those words only reaffirmed that that baby had come to ruin only his plans and, for some reason, that made him feel extremely sad.

“Hey, I didn't say it to upset you like that,” Mark hastened to tell him when he saw the thick tears that ran down his cheeks and the sobs that shook his shoulders.

“It's just… it's my fault…” Jinyoung sobbed again, hiccupping slightly, he hated the ease with which he was crying and that he not only shed tears, but that he looked like a 3-year-old boy while crying.

“I've already told you many times that it's not your fault, it wasn't just your responsibility,” Mark told him, taking one of his hands between his.

“But you had new things planned, or you could have done it and forget about us, but you decided to stay with someone you don't even love, for a baby that we are not going to keep, and all because I did not know how to shut up in a moment drunkenness and answering your messages ... it was my fault from the beginning.”

“Jinyoung, stop it,” Mark told him firmly, however, he didn't look annoyed. Unfortunately the traffic light turned green again and he had to focus on the road again, however he never let go of his hand. “I want you to understand it at once, none of this is your fault. Yes, you were the one who couldn’t shut up when I saw you in that bathroom stall, but I was also the one who decided to send you messages and flirt with you. I was the one that made the first moves.” Jinyoung bit his lip to prevent him from continuing to tremble. “And I did it because since you stepped in my classroom, I thought you were quite attractive, so, please, Jinyoung, stop saying it's your fault. My decisions are mine and if I did it, it was because I am a responsible person. Obviously I was not going to leave you alone with this burden. If we want to go there, this is just more heavy for you. You are the one who had to endure the morning sickness, the one that’s gaining weight, whose entire body is changing. I think the least I could do was save a vacation for a bit.” Mark squeezed his hand tightly; however, his words only made Jinyoung cry more. “And stop crying, please, I hate that you cry because of me.” His voice did not sound annoyed, however, Jinyoung was very busy trying to control himself and process all the words the older had said to realize that Mark's eyes were also watery.

“Sorry, it's my hormones, I swear,” Jinyoung hiccupped again, wiping his face strongly with his free hand, causing his face to be covered in red spots. “Last time I cried because I served myself some cereal and there was no milk,” he pouted when he remembered that awful situation. “Youngjae couldn't stop laughing at me, but it's real, the suffering is real.”

Mark giggled softly and again they came to another red light, where Mark let go of Jinyoung's hand, just to help him wipe his tears and give him an overly affectionate pat on the head. Jinyoung stared at Mark, who was also looking at him, perhaps with a little more tenderness and affection than before. Jinyoung was definitely screwed.

“I will take it into account, but please, stop crying. A lot of things makes me cry and seeing you suffer will now be part of that list,” Mark said, clearing his throat and looking away, realizing his actions. “Besides, I don’t know why you are crying in the first place, it's not like I can never do it anymore. I have a life ahead of me, despite what you think of me for being old, I’m not that old, haven’t you seen that Jennifer Garner movie about being thirty, flirty and thriving?” Jinyoung laughed again and wiped his face one last time. “There will be more opportunities in the future; what's more, I even think you could come with me.”

“Me?” Jinyoung wondered. “Why?”

“Well, you could know another city. I don't know, New York looks very your style,” Mark said, shrugging, finally entering a parking lot near a set of stores. “We have arrived,” Mark announced, to which Jinyoung finally came to realize that they were not near any Shake Shack. “I know you specifically asked me for a specific brand of burgers, but I promise that these are much better,” he winked at him. “And I always get discounts every time I come here.”

“Cheap. That’s why they say rich people stay rich.” Jinyoung narrowed his eyes as he watched again as Mark laughed and went down the car, hurrying to help him get out. 

At the touch of his warm hand, Jinyoung realized that his heart had not calmed entirely. The feeling he had felt in the doctor’s office was present again, maybe a little stronger than before and his mind began to remember every action that Mark made when he saw him cry, the way he squeezed his hand and how he assured him a thousand times that it was fine. He even felt his hand still caressing his hair in a tender way.

Jinyoung could tell, Mark had never acted with him in that way, however, he knew that he could not make many expectations, even after hearing his words  _ "from the beginning I thought you were attractive, _ " again emphasizing that between them there was nothing more than something physical and, if there was any kind of affection between them, it was the baby that hadn’t stopped moving inside him since Mark told him they were going out to eat. 

Jinyoung would have to control himself. If Mark found out about his feelings, or at the point of separation, he was going to end up too damaged. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I shouldn't have given you three quick updates and then silence for almost two months, but you know, life happens, besides, I was to depressed about them going on hiatus that I coulnd't stop myself from crying evertime I heard their songs or thought about them. But now that feeling is gone and for me to not miss them so much I'm going to try to write as much as I can.
> 
> And I KNOW I said I wasn't going to put so much feelings, but OH BOY, I just can't help it...I know, I'm a big POS. 
> 
> Big kudos to Katy for being the most amazing beta in the world! And I'm really sorry for making you crave hamburgers.
> 
> Let me know what you think! What do you think the baby is going to be? Make your bets, people! Also the name! I'm strugglng so much with a name! 
> 
> See you next time! And support our boys in all you can!!!!
> 
> Lots of love
> 
> Marie

**Author's Note:**

> I do am a big POS
> 
> But I truly can't control my mind! It just has a mind(?) of it's own and suddenly decides we need to write this story right now!!! 
> 
> I won't say much today other than GO AND STREAM BREATH BECAUSE OUR BABY YOUNGJAE DESERVES THE ENTIRE WORLD! 
> 
> And let's start to sew our wigs to our scalps to prevent them from flying away with Last Piece (BTW, I haven't pre order mine and I'm panicking!) 
> 
> NOW RELATED TO THIS FIC! I won't spoil much with this...I want everything to be a total surprise! But I want to give HUUUGE THANKS to my new beta Nina BLM (Idk her username my internet is trolling me) but she is an amazing beta and got everything ready quite quickly and is going to help me give you, my beloved readers, a more pleasant read, also thanks to aghasophie that RT my tweet asking for some help, because without her we wouldn't have contacted each other. 
> 
> Anyways! 
> 
> After fighting some covid19 and a fire in the place I work at...YOU STILL HAVE AUTHOR FOR A FEW MORE YEARS! So I give thanks for that this year, I'll be here bothering you with my stories for a while.
> 
> Let me know what you think! I love to read you in the comments! 
> 
> I'M OUT
> 
> Marie


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